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Upland
D. Shelton

I used to live in Rancho Cucamonga
Where it's nice and hot and the smog tastes like pat�
All of my family is married to their cousins
Other than that I don't have much to say

When I turned 21 I bought my home in Upland
I had to get it because it was such a deal
I 've got my jet skis and my trailer at the river
I can't describe how Tony Robbins makes me feel

Things are different out here
Things are different out here
It's like Deliverance out here

I live in Upland
I'm the king of Upland
I live in Upland
I'm the Pope of this dump
No I won't shave off my moustache
I've had it since the eighth grade
Whaddaya mean I look like a cop
Some of my best friends are cops

I got married to my first wife at eighteen
She was twelve and almost over the hill
Our marriage faded when she started getting restless
And now I'm after a Covina girl named Jill

Things are different out here
Things are different out here
It's like Deliverance out here

I live in Upland
I'm the king of Upland
I live in Upland
I'm the Pope of this dump
I'm at church on every Sunday
And at work on every Mondy
I think that it would suffice to say
I'm practically perfect in every way

Tony Robbins is a god, Tony Robbins is a god
It's my career that he has saved
I've got every tape he's ever made
And all the videos too
A couple of old eight tracks
And an 8 x 10 glossy of his big fucking mongoloid head